Danger Turtle Says: THANKS FOR 100,000 HITS!

Danger Turtle, Motherfucker.

Round-a-bound – now with 100% more sand art!

Saw this on Star Wars Day:

This lady must be lots of fun at the beach. Listen for Apocalyptica at around 3:30 and again later in the piece.

Tales of the Ancient Swords Shooting Swords

You may remember that Rusty once linked us a really sweet clip from The Sword and the Sorcerer.

Was that the film’s hero – the creatively named Prince Talon – shooting a guy with a sword that shoots swords? It was indeed! What’s interesting is that someone is making an official Sword and the Sorcerer sequel. “Goddamn you, Pale Horse!” you cry, “How dare you get my hopes up? It’ll be terrible, just like all the other crappy sequels we’ve been subjected to lately!” But wait, troops… there are three things that you’ve yet to learn:

• That someone is the film’s original director, Albert Pyun – a direct-to-video king who (allegedly) trained under Akira Kurosawa.

• The guy who played buddy in the original has been recast, along with five young female leads.

• The film stars Kevin Sorbo AND Christopher Lambert.

It’s called Tales from an Ancient Empire, and stars Hercules as the son of the guy in the first video – a gruff-mercenary-with-a-heart-of-gold whose “princess” half-sister needs his begrudging help with some heroic fantasy shit blah blah blah something about fate. Watch this, and then look me square in the face and tell me it wasn’t totally awesome:

Stilted dialogue with no contractions to make it sound “medieval?” Check. Horrible acting? Check. Actors who look utterly out of place in a fantasy context? Check. This is some vintage 80s fantasy barbarian shit!

Danger Turtle Says: THANKS FOR 50,000 HITS!

DT says: "Thanks for 50,000 hits!"

Powell River, BC – Prepped for the Combine

Get yer Free Medkits here . . .

Via Kotaku – Powell River, BC, is ready for the Combine. Lambda-force safezones are popping up everywhere . . . do they know something we don’t?